There are some people who seem to have it all figured out from an early age. They know their calling—whether it’s to be an Olympic athlete, a physician, or an artist—and they dedicate their lives to that pursuit. They plan, prepare, and eventually achieve their dreams. I often admire those individuals, but I’ve come to realize that my path has been quite different.

I’ve always felt like a “fart in a skillet,” flitting around without a clear direction. Growing up, I was bombarded with ideas about what my life should look like. My grandfather, in his wisdom, often spoke about the stability and reliability of being a nurse. He told me that nurses attracted the best husbands, and in a world that seemed to value traditional roles, that notion stuck with me. The idea of finding a great husband and starting a family was drummed into my head as the ultimate goal for women.

As a teenager, my dreams expanded. I imagined the thrill of being a flight attendant, jet-setting around the world, or even becoming a pilot, soaring high above the clouds. These dreams were filled with adventure and excitement, a stark contrast to the more conventional path I had been led to believe was ideal.

Yet, as I transitioned into young adulthood, I found myself drawn back to nursing. It seemed like the sensible choice—helping others, contributing to society, and enjoying the stability that came with the profession. But just as quickly as that plan emerged, it fell by the wayside, leaving me once again searching for my place in the world.

Today, I sit here reflecting on my journey, still grappling with the question of where I truly fit in. It’s easy to feel lost in a society that often emphasizes the importance of having a clear direction. But I’m learning that it’s okay to be uncertain. Life doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all manual, and everyone’s journey is unique. However, being at loose ends isn’t always the most comfortable place to be in- but I am working on sitting in my own mud and being okay it.

Through this process of learning about myself, I’ve realized that perhaps my purpose isn’t tied to a specific job title or role. Instead, it may be found in the experiences I seek, the connections I make, and the passions I explore along the way. Each interest I’ve had—from nursing to aviation—reflects a part of who I am. For instance, I know I love people in general, and connecting with other is fulfilling and important to me. Because of that I find that I am look for those connections on a regular basis and I know that having a job that was isolating wouldn’t butter my biscuit in anyway, shape or form.

So, what now? I’m embracing the uncertainty and allowing myself to explore different avenues. Whether it’s volunteering, taking classes in areas that intrigue me, or simply engaging in conversations with diverse individuals, I’m opening myself up to new possibilities. And that my friends is often scary and hard.

I continue to remember that it’s perfectly okay to not have everything figured out. Life is a journey, and sometimes the most meaningful experiences come from wandering off the beaten path. I continue to work hard at embracing the uncertainty, exploring my interests, and trusting that my path will unfold in its own time even if I am old “AF”

After all, it’s not about where you end up, but the journey you take to get there – right?